GWLMISL
Seasons

GWLMISL - 2019          

Adult Coed Soccer

League News

Congratulations and Thank You

Aug 28, 2019
 

Congratulations to the 2019 GWLMISL Champions, Yolks on You!

THANK YOU to everyone for participating in the league this year and submitting your suggestions in the survey. Looking forward to many fun seasons to come!

Casey & Jeff

2019 Semi-finals Recap and Finals Preview

Jul 18, 2019
 

The semi finals kicked off with the first seed Panda Express facing fifth seed Blue Steel. The Panda Express rolled into this one with confidence, having won the season series 2-0 with a combined score of 11-0. Blue Steel was not interested in old news and tackled this match with a more aggressive approach, putting the food court crew on their heels for much of the match in a closely contended match. The score would remain tied until almost half-way through the 2nd half when Blue hero Gurdeep Samra potted the most pivotal goal of his young career. With a lead in-hand, the underdogs had only to contain the Express, which would prove easier said than done. With minutes to spare, Rose Bohemier buried the tying tally to send the game to silver-goal overtime. The black team’s championship pedigree would surface as they took control, scoring two goals to seal a 3-1 victory and a trip to the finals, a refreshing feeling for a roster that features no 2018 finals participants.

The next match featured the second seed Yolks on You vs. sixth seed Gandalf’s Goonies. While team stats would suggest another predictable matchup, the Eggs would enter the game weary of a surprise as the Wizards had already served them 2 of their only 3 losses all season, and as such they started the match flying out of the gates. With incessant pressure, it would take them almost 10 minutes to notch their first goal but once it rained, it poured, and by halftime the lead was 6-1. The Goonies would take the opportunity to re-gain composure at halftime and find their offense but continued to struggle in containing the egg-cellent offense coming at them and ultimately were only able to close the score to 9-5 (thanks in part to a solid late goal by Steven Buchan, the first of his career). While the Yolks may have lost the season series 1-2, they exorcised their demons and did just enough to book their ticket to the finals for a battle against Panda Express; the only other team to keep the Yolks winless.

The finals are set and for the first time since 2014, the top two seeds of the regular season will rightfully square off for the title of GWLMISL champions. As with the 2014 finals, the top two scorers of the season will each be leading their respective teams as the Panda’s Kyle Kusiak will look to out-do the Yolks’ Salman Riyaz. While the Panda Express’ balanced squad and superior regular season performance have them penciled in as the bettors’ favorites, Yolks on You will lean on the veteran leadership of reigning champions Abigail Henry and Captain/Coach Martha Corbin.

Ultimately both teams will be desperate for an in-match win to make up for the loss they will inevitably experience by having to show up late to the windup. Kicking off at Winn-City Pub as is tradition, there will be food, drinks, prizes, awards, and the chance to catch up with friends and teammates now that the competition is over. A second venue will host the post-windup party into the night, with the address to be disseminated to the captains.

Quarter-finals

Jul 11, 2019
 

Our first quarter-final featured the top-seeded Panda Express and the last-ranked Grenouilles Sauvages. The match would appear lop-sided as the Express entered the match sporting the greatest regular season win-percentage in the GWLMISL stat-tracked era. However, lop-sided it was not as the Green gang kept things close, staying within a couple goals for the majority of the match while creating the bulk of the goal-scoring chances. The scoresheet ended littered with the name of Black’s leading scorer, Kyle Kusiak, as he notched a hat-trick to go with a first-half yellow card for ordering take-out frog legs, while Adam Bergen notched his first goal of the season at just the right time, contributing to the final score of 5-2. For Les Grenouilles, this marks the end of a tough injury-filled season and the start of an off-season of rehabbing in preparation for 2020.

2nd seed Yolks on You squared off against Can We Kick It in the second quarter-final of the evening in another tilted matchup as the total season score between these teams ended in favor of the Eggs 18-6. Unfortunately that trend would continue as the Yolks took advantage of Pink’s short bench with a final score of 9-2. Goals came from diverse sources as joint-leading female goal-scorer this season Megan Stanick took the lead in that category by potting her first GWLMISL hat-trick, and Keith Morris opened his 2019 goal-scoring account with a tally of his own.

The primetime matchups began with 3rd vs 6th as Spray Tanchester United took on Gandalf’s Goonies in a matchup seen only once this season. That match had ended 6-5 on a final-minute tie-breaker, suggesting the viewers would be in for a nail-biter, and that did not disappoint. A fiercely defensive matchup remained scoreless at half-time until the Oranje’s Vladas Tvaskis broke the tie. With less than 10 minutes left however, Goonie Kelsey Hingey tied the match up as she roofed her first GWLMISL goal, followed a few minutes later by a Grey go-ahead goal by Maxim Kotov, his second of the season in as many matches. With 3 minutes left however the wizards hit their 5 foul limit, breathing new life into the GTL crew as they would spend all but the last 45 seconds of the game on a powerplay. While they provided incessant pressure, they would not find the back of the net. Orange must now find the right way to break the news to out-of-continent star defender Andrew Lee, while Gandalf’s Goonies must now prepare for yet another difficult matchup against Yolks on You in the semifinals.

The final game saw a 4th vs 5th battle for the right to face the top seed next week, as the Dream Team went up against their victors from last week, Blue Steel, this time without top scorer Kevin Tuyisenge. Another hard-fought and constantly close matchup, these teams tested their goal-tenders heavily and often. Looking to overcome their key absences, Burgundy found scoring from alternate sources as Patrick Barbaro scored his first GWLMISL goal to get his team on the board. It wouldn’t be enough however as Blue’s captain and leading scorer, Sean Seavers, collected a hat-trick thanks to an open-net goal while Dreamers keeper Mike Siwicki wandered out of his crease to take charge of his team’s offense. Blue Steel would ultimately seal things up despite the Dream Team’s furious late push and end the game 5-3 to punch their ticket to the semi-finals.

Week #13 - Recap

Jul 5, 2019
 

The 13th regular season of GWLMISL wrapped up with a bang as teams scrapped with significant playoff consequences. The first game of the night was a re-match of Week 7’s hotly contested upset between Yolks on You and Gandalf’s Goonies. Despite Gandalf’s victory in the prior matchup, the Yolks were still widely favored to level the series given their offense’s continued success and the Goonies’ six game winless skid combined with the absence of starting goalie Vlad Dumitrescu. None of these factors could overcome good old-fashioned hard work and positive attitudes as the wizards came out flying to a 4-2 lead and closed out a 5-4 victory. The usual suspects carried the bulk of the load on the stat sheet for the Eggcentric ones, while the Greys enjoyed diverse contribution as Gabrielle Douchant sniped the first goal of her GWLMISL career, and Maxim Kotov potted the first of his shortened season. The Goonies may have also found their much-needed secondary scorer as Chipwanya Banda is now riding his first goal-scoring streak after another outstanding solo effort. Meanwhile, future captains will be taking note of Andy Chan’s sparkling 1.00 win percentage as a goaltender after facing a team that averages 6 goals per game.

The second match featured les Grenouilles Sauvages, looking for momentum heading into the playoffs while up against a largely depleted Spray Tanchester United team looking to cement their grip on 3rd place. Missing their 2 of their top 3 scorers, this would prove to be a task to tall for the GTL squad as a tight tie was broken in the final 10 seconds of the game by well-known fan of the show, Mulinde M’Hango. This of course would not have been possible without yet another career first as Monica Rosset potted the Hoppers’ all-important 3rd goal in a 4-3 victory. Don’t look now but Gang Green seems to have gotten healthy just in time for playoffs and are on their season’s first loss-less streak.

In a somewhat less important match, Panda Express hosted Can We Kick It in a battle for pride and injury avoidance. The match started off competitive but steadily became ugly as captain Gordon Yestrau would be shown a yellow card in the first half, and Kyle Kusiak would proceed to pad his stats with 5 goals in garbage-time. Most on-lookers blame Pauline Pitman as she masterfully crafted an easy opportunity to set up Kusiak’s 4th goal, notching the first point of her GWLMISL career in the process. Glen Jewsbury’s ability to allow only two goals would prove pivotal by the end of the night.

Due to the results of the prior games, the final match became a must-watch as the Dream Team and Blue Steel would battle each-other with the power to decide what the 3 vs 6 and 4 vs 5 matchups would look like next week. With both squads set to feature in these matchups, the contest was sure to be closely contested. The match remained a one-goal affair as the teams went back and forth until late in the 2nd half when the Blue’s stone-cold killer, Maja Prokopenko, smoothly placed her shot into the far corner of Burgundy’s net. Dreamy goaltender Mike Siwicki sprawled but could not get enough on it as he slowly watched the ball trickle in and his top-goaltender title trickle away. The new-found 3-1 lead would not last long however, as Alyssa Vergata’s effort off the post would find Devin Antymniuk’s head to bring the match to within one goal. With less than 3 minutes to tie the game however, the Steelies sealed the deal and clinched 5th place, ensuring a rematch in the quarterfinals next week. With Maja’s goal, rookie goaltender Mike Siwicki is now forced to share the title of best GAA this season with rookie goaltender Glen Jewsbury.

Week #12 - Postgame Report

Jun 27, 2019
 

Top 5 Karaoke Performers Last Night

1. Abby and Ashley – Multiple amazing performances last night.
2. Gabby – That shallow performance was the best of the bunch.
3. Kevin / Ramogi / Udoka – Those guys know how to command the stage and get people dancing.
4. Fraser – The voice of an angel.
5. Viv – Purely based on volume.

Honorable mention – Danny D and Mackay. That performance of No Diggity!

Karaoke night

Jun 21, 2019
 

The GWLMISL annual Canada Day Karaoke night is coming up! After the games are over at Canlan on Wednesday, June 26, head over to the Limelight karaoke Tavern at 531 St.Mary's Rd. Looking forward to seeing everyone out!

Week #11 - Postgame Report

Jun 21, 2019
 

Game #3: Spray Tanchester United vs. Panda Express

Winner Winner Chicken Pad Thai Dinner – Team STU is the first team to serve the Panda Express their first loss with Black’s performance looking like a 2-year old trying to learn to use Chop Sticks. The match quickly got out of hand with Orange securing 3 goals early in the first half with a final score of 6-1. Ironically, team Black was missing their points leader Harun Kibirige to a meditation retreat, the same game TanU put on a demonstration of a pure-balanced yin yang game, performing strong on both defense and offense. The game was surely a wake-up for both teams on what they’ll need to bring to playoffs in just three short weeks!

Week #10 - Postgame Report

Jun 13, 2019
 

Game #1: Can We Kick It? vs. Spray Tanchester United

It’s official – Orange can kick it. Orange Crush style.


Game #2: Gandalf's Goonies vs. Panda Express


Game #3: Dream Team vs. Yolks On You


Game #4: Blue Steel vs. Grenouilles Sauvages

The last game of the night featured Team Blue going up against a depleted Team Green squad who was missing their top 4 players on the stats sheet to injuries and exams. The game was closer than the score suggested, with plenty of chances both ways. Ultimately Blue managed to secure their first shutout of the season, thanks to Salim who worked his butt off in order to stop Udoka from stealing his position as Team Blue’s #1 keeper.

On the sidelines, Tony Caputi was cheered on by his daughter on his 58th birthday; keeping her fingers crossed in anticipation of her dad scoring the next goal in this league. Tony's love for this sport is undeniable. His statistics tell it all: 9th season, 104 games played, 44 goals, and 41 assists. I played with Tony on the same team in season one on team green "Insurance Goals". Tony, you are an inspiration to me and many others. Happy Birthday my friend.

Week #9 - Postgame Report

Jun 7, 2019
 

Game #1: Panda Express vs. Grenouilles Sauvages


Game #2: Yolks On You vs. Blue Steel


Game #3: Can We Kick It? vs. Gandalf's Goonies


Game #4: Spray Tanchester United vs. Dream Team

Game 4 saw the Dream Team take a head-to-head balancing loss against STU with a 3-1 final score. With some debate over natural rosters vs. playing as the colors on your back, ultimately Orange demonstrated the stronger control throughout the match. Dream Captains post-game comments: “We were thinking ‘bout them, thinking ‘bout we, thinking ‘bout us, then they scored 3. They opened our eyes – I guess we’re only just a Dream. So we traveled back, got 1 goal, could we come back?, that was a No – We realized, that we’re only just a Dream…” Team STU on the other hand said Whooa Nelly to the downtrodden team, giving words of encouragement in the locker room as they shared some drinks and had some laughs after the game. Fun times were had by all.

Week #8 - Postgame Report

May 30, 2019
 

Game #1: Gandalf's Goonies vs. Dream Team

Was another fun game, and for the first time in the leagues history, Canlan turned the air conditioning on!!!!!!


Game #2: Grenouilles Sauvages vs. Can We Kick It?

The second match of the night featured a feisty French team hungry for their first win against the Pink squad who have been struggling with their kicks of late. After leaping to an early lead, the Frogs savagely hung on by a thread, allowing Pink to tie things up a few times before long-legging it out and finally claiming victory!


Game #3: Spray Tanchester United vs. Yolks On You


Game #4: Panda Express vs. Blue Steel

This game was close, like Zoolander 2 was close to winning an Oscar. 6-0 for the Pandas.

Week #7 - Postgame Report

May 23, 2019
 

Game #1: Gandalf's Goonies vs. Spray Tanchester United

5 goals to the kingdom of Tan. 5 goals to the Wizards. One goal to Orange to win it all, and in the standings climb them. Game 1 of the night had an early advantage to Grey with scoring coming in waves throughout – Orange with a heavy lead 5-2 but Grey turning the game completely around to achieve a tie. The game winning goal was a 2-man effort, Orange kicking the ball and Grey rebounding it into their own net – Great rec league teamwork. Spray TanU was determined to keep their streak alive boasting the highest scoring game of the night and 4 different scorers amongst their 6 goals. The Goonies managed to flex back with their tie-up but wound up truffle-shuffling back to the change rooms in defeat.


Game #2: Can We Kick It? vs. Blue Steel

In the second match of the night, Blue Steel faced off against Can We Kick It and managed to put up their best defensive performance of the year so far, limiting the Pepto Bismol guzzling squad to just two goals. The Defense also pitched in for 5 out of the Blue Steel’s 7 points on the night. This win closed the gap between Blue and Pink in the standings, and they’re now sitting dead even with 2 wins, 5 losses, 22 goals for and 35 against each. Fortunately for Pink and much to Blue’s dismay, the two teams will not play each other again until the 1 vs. 8 quarter final matchup.


Game #3: Grenouilles Sauvages vs. Dream Team

An exciting battle with two fun teams. They shared some drinks and had some laughs after the game.


Game #4: Panda Express vs. Yolks On You

The evening wrapped up with a headlining clash between the league’s two top teams at the halfway-point of the season, with Yolks On You’s #1 offense looking to break Panda Express’s #1 defense. The Eggs were looking to mend the cracks coming off their first loss of the season last week and would surely consider delivering the Express’ first loss as a proper statement.
Unfortunately the odds were against them as the Yolks’ offense-laden personnel group would be tasked with overcoming their childhood-hero-turned-worst-nightmare, Karl Sanderson, for the second week in a row. With all eyes fixated on the Great Wall of Karl, a distracted Yellow team allowed the Panda offense to take over the food court thanks in large part to a first-half hat-trick by Harun Kibirige. Lead omelette Salman Riyaz’s relationship status with league officiating will likely remain scrambled as he picked up a yellow card after driving innocent by-stander Gordon Yestrau into the boards, but subsequently benefited from a penalty-kick in the first half to keep his team in the game.
The frantic pace of the first half did not carry over to the 2nd as the Panda Express went into cruise-control to maintain their lead. The Hot n’ Sour beatdown was sealed as midfield engine Cam Fidler buried the final insurance marker, created by rookie Fredrick Amponsem for the first point of his GWLMISL career. The Panda’s Designers, Captains Gordon and Sam, will surely be satisfied by their team’s steamrolling of the competition so far as they have now gone undefeated after having faced every team. Meanwhile Salman and Martha will attempt to separate the yolks from the whites as they look to re-build the shattered ego of a squad that assumed themselves destined to shatter records.
An anonymous source close to the Yolks’ management has noticed a trend with their egg-cessive name-changing contemplation. With only one win separating them from the bottom half of the league and a match-up with the team directly behind them up next, “Walking on Egg Shells” is now the likely patch for an ever-evolving identity crisis.

Week #6 - Postgame Report

May 16, 2019
 

Game #1: Can We Kick It? vs. Panda Express

The first game of the night featured the Pandas and Can We Kick It. The answer to that question was no, they could not kick it, leading to a final score of 7-2 Team Black. Pink was short-staffed in this one which may have made the difference as Team Blacks express speeds were a little too much to handle. Even with first year tender Angelo helping to ref the game AND making countless saves the kickers could not keep this one close. Pink looks to pick up the pieces after a brutal schedule run facing the top 3 teams over the past 3 weeks.


Game #2: Blue Steel vs. Dream Team

These two teams played a close game throughout. Fun times were had.


Game #3: Grenouilles Sauvages vs. Spray Tanchester United

Just one of many tight battles of the night, TanU pulled ahead and maintained a 2-1 Win over the Sauvages last night in Game 3. This win begins the Orange streak and keeps the elusive W away from team Green yet another week. The match itself was fierce on either end with strong performances by both teams and especially both back-up goalies Arakaza and Dolan. Luckily, savagery was kept to a minimum with minor penalties to both teams but frustrations kept in-check to the end. When asked pre-game if their teams were expecting to win, Grenouilles responded ‘We do!’ while TanU cheekily answered ‘Oui. Deux!’ #enfrancaissilvousplait.


Game #4: Gandalf's Goonies vs. Yolks On You

The final game of the night featured the high-flying offense of Yolks on You vs. the stingy defense of Gandalf’s Goonies. The Goonies were on high-alert with the three-headed monster of Salman Riyaz, Ryan Kehler, and Sean Brokop coming off a combined 16pt outing in their prior match. Pegged by most league gurus to be a lop-sided affair, this scrap was anything but with 3 lead changes and a nail-biting finish.

It was lead wizard Hamza Bezzaz who started the scoring early, giving the Greys their first lead and going on to net the game-tying and game winning goals en route to his first career GWLMISL hat-trick. The game was kept close with a supernatural effort from wiz captain Kirk Vandersteen who tallied a goal of his own while managing to slow the egg-cellent yellow offense. Despite the grey’s impressive defensive stand, Yolk sniper Melanie Anspikian notched her first career goal and has since booked time to train maligned Yolks forward Sean Brokop on proper shooting form.

Ultimately, one ring(er) prevailed to rule them all as super-sub Karl Sanderson, the hero of the hour, simply outclassed Captain Sal and the Over-Easy crew with his vastly superior breadth of soccer skill and experience. Even with a 5-on-3 advantage at their disposal for the final minute of the game to tie the match, the Egg Carton could not overcome Karl’s raw aura of excellence and brutish intimidation as he stared their entire squad down from Grey’s bench to seal the victory. League captains have taken notice as they will be readying their mid-round picks for heavy minutes after having identified the Yolks’ true Achilles heel; players who have been drafted to teams.

An anonymous source spotted a few cracked eggs scrambling out of the building as soon as the final buzzer sounded. It’s been speculated that they were rushing off to discuss yet another name change, with “Whine and Cheese” leading as the consensus pick.

Week #5 - Postgame Report

May 10, 2019
 

Game #3: Panda Express vs. Dream Team

Game 3 of the night between the Pandas and Dream Team proved to be a battle of the keepers. In the end, there was no doubt as to who the better tender was as Team Black earned another clean sheet 2-0. Burgundy captain Mike Siwicki is rumored to be pouting still, to this day, as the Panda’s couldn’t score a REAL goal. Fortunately, for the Pandas, Burgundy couldn’t muster up ANY type of goal. Black continues ‘living the dream’, undefeated as Burgundy looks to dream up some ways to compete after dropping games to both the 1st and 2nd place teams.

Game #4 Spray Tanchester United vs. BLue Steel

Final game of the night saw the yet-to-Win TanU team face off against a shorthanded Blue Steel. Team Orange, full of color and ready to take down their first game, came out blazing and managed a 9-3 victory over the pursed-lipped Zoolanders. With players down including both of the Steel’s captains, Blue was left sucking wind as if they’d contracted the black lung. Some say the final score was excessive, but haters gon’ hate and the first W is step 1 in trying to Make Orange Great Again.

Week #4 - Postgame Report

May 3, 2019
 

Game #1: Yolks On You vs. Grenouilles Sauvages

Any game between a team with something to prove and a team with “the best player in the league” is sure to be intense, and the first match up of the evening lived up to expectations! With several of the Frogs out of commission for the night, Green made a sauvages move by bringing in GWLMISL Alum Gaetan Infantino in hopes the extra fire power would out-boot the prized right foot of Salman Riyaz. But Yolks on You, les Grenouilles, as the amphibians left the field with egg on their faces after falling short of the W by two goals for the fourth time in four matches.

Game #2: Panda Express vs. Spray Tanchester United

Once again, the pandas showed some killer instinct against TanU putting the game away 4-2. Both teams put a vast amount of pressure on the rookie keepers who were up to the task. Glenn ‘GAA’ Jewsbury made some miraculous saves on the goal line much to the dismay of super sub Steph Fraser who is still looking for her FIRST EVER GWL Goal. The game was never out of reach for Team Orange, but the Pandas made sure TanU would be walking into the sunset still searching for their first win.

Game #3:

Game #4: Dream Team vs. Can We Kick It?

In the last game of the night the Dream Team was facing Can We Kick It? The Kickers opened up the score with a play that can only be called “The Canlan Special”. However that didn’t discourage the Dream Team as they came back with a goal of their own from special forces Sargent Ramogi the sniper. The game went back and fourth until the middle of the second half where the Dream Team turned into a nightmare for the kickers and pulled ahead by two goals. In the final few minutes the kickers scored another goal but it was too little too late. For all the trash talking that took place before the game the teams shared a friendly drink as they reminisced about the 4 goals Mike Siwicki let in.

Week #3 - Postgame Report

Apr 29, 2019
 

Game #1: Blue Steel vs Grenouilles Sauvages

From Blue Steel:
Game 1 of the evening featured an exciting matchup between two teams yet to experience the sweet taste of victory this season; Blue Steel vs. Les Grenouilles Sauvages. Ultimately, the ridiculously good looking Blue Steel squad got the W, thanks in part to a stellar performance from replacement Janelle Pierce who scored 2, including 1 on her first shift of the season, and rookie captain Sean Seavers who somehow found a way to turn left and buried 2 lefties himself. Once again, the Blue Steel demonstrated their well roundedness with points from 7 different players as they fulfilled Udoka’s birthday wish of a Blue Steel victory.

From Grenouilles Sauvages:
It was a battle of the basement in the first match up of the night with the Male Models facing the Princes in Disguise. With both teams hungry for a win, it was sure to be a hard fought game, and it delivered. After losing their first round draft pick Taylor Williamson to an ACL injury prior to the season, the Blues welcomed GWLMISL alum Janelle Pierce to the catwalk and she rocked it – Pierce is fierce, folks! After gaining an early lead, the Blues sealed the Steel with a strong second half while the Frogs merely hopped along in a vain attempt to keep pace. After suffering a third straight heartbreaking loss, les Grenouilles look as flat as a failed game of Frogger and very much not Sauvages.

Game #2: Dream Team vs. Yolks on You

The beaks and trash talk were in full effect for the week leading up to match-up between the Dream Team and Yolks On You. Somehow Michael “thy baby” Siwicki and Rhys “I hit the net twice a season” DeGrave infiltrated the Yolks’ pre-game email string, only to add more fuel to the fire. The Dream Team’s star goalie and captain had made a bold statement in the weeks leading up to the season: “No team will score more than 3 goals on me.” Michael offered up a Keg dinner to certain members of the Yolks should this threshold be broken.

Both teams were equipped with their full squads and it was a fast-paced start. The Dream Team opened up the scoring with some fancy footwork by striker Ramogi “I scream loudly while I play” Nyonje as he undressed the Yolks’ defense and beat a screened Alex Anspikian. The Yolks answered back with newly minted Yolks midfielder Sean “I’m only out here for exercise” Brokop scoring with a soft left-footer that somehow fooled Mr. Siwicki. Shortly after, Kevin “I have great style because I’m French” Tuyisenge netted a beauty of a goal to put the Dreams up 2-1 at half. Things were looking good for Mr. Siwicki’s bold prediction, but there was a lot of game left to be played. Not to be outdone, the league’s all-time leading scorer and perennial goalie nightmare Salman “my hair always looks perfect” Riyaz buried 3 consecutive goals, after a flurry of near misses in the first half. Each team added one more goal: for the Yolks, rookie sensation Ryan Kehler unleashed a rocket that left little chance for the Dream’s keeper, and for the Dream, Evan Shaw netted one five-hole late in the game.

The damage was done and with a score of 5-3, the Yolks came out on top, thus breaching Mr. Siwicki’s self-imposed 3 goal threshold. An anonymous source close to the Yolks had mentioned they were considering changing their name to “The Real Dream Team” but this cannot be confirmed nor denied.

Michael – I will have the Sirloin Oscar… thanks bud.

Game #3: Gandalf's Goonies vs. Panda Express

The third game of the night was much closer than the final score of 5-1 Pandas would have you believe. The wizards were motivated after their unbelievable comeback win last week but couldn’t make the magic happen two weeks in a row.
The Pandas came out strong dominating time of possession but failing to capitalize as Team Grey continued to crowd the box and counter attack. At the half, the score was 2-1 thanks in part to an “own” goal from Panda’s defender Derrick Malis who was heard admitting “he did what he had to do” to keep egos in check. The second half was all Pandas as they showed they aren’t very cuddly netting another 3 which included rookie assist specialist Karl Sanderson’s first!

Game #4: Can We Kick It vs. Spray Tanchester United

Should Game 4 even count as a real game? The losing team says No. In a outrageously short-benched match between Can We Kick It and Spray Tanchester United, the final score was 4-1 in favour of team Pink. The scoring was one-sided early with TanU simply unable to find traction and that scoring touch – Probably using too much tanning oils. Unlucky for goal minder
‘Jello’, Orange was able to bury a late goal to avoid the shutout. Between both teams, the game was missing a staggering 10 players, with a silver lining of affording the Retiree/ League-Veteran Rafik the opportunity to sub into the league for the night. Reasons spanned sickness, vacation, unexplained, children, and even a posh tea party that all couldn’t be avoided. In reality we believe these players were trying to whip the rest of their teammates into shape with the extra field time.

Week #2 - postgame report

Apr 18, 2019
 

Week 2 fulfilled all its promises of exciting match-ups and results! Here’s a quick recap for all the overly-invested:

Game 1
Dream Team and Spray Tanchester United battled tightly with amazing performances on both sides having the game tied up at 3 towards the end. Unfortunately for TanU, and probably everyone on both benches gasping for air, there was too much time left on the clock and Dream Team pulled ahead to a 5-3 win. First star of the night goes to the Dream’s Ramogi with an impressive 4-goal game – Shawty is a 10 in my books. Sources say TanU was so choked they even left their clothes behind as they stormed out of the locker rooms.

Game 2
The Gandalfs managed a jaw-dropping last second win with 2 seconds on the clock to pull ahead 4-3 over Can We Kick It, also tying the game less than 10 seconds earlier than that! These wizards just wouldn’t quit and proved that balrogs like Burgundy couldn’t dampen their spirits. We spoke to Gandalf’s Vivek about the team’s incredible comeback finding out the following; Did you score the game-winner?? Vivek: “No.” Did you score the tie-up goal?? Vivek: “Also no, but I scored the first 2, sooo…” And he’s right folks, getting the first goals after the shutout last week are just as important! Team Pink was unavailable for comment, because I didn’t speak to anyone, and were presumably wondering if they could kick other things after their heartbreaking loss.

Game 3
The Yolkers bested the Blue Steels in a surprisingly high scoring 7-4 game on both ends. Not to be shutout again, team Blue stepped it up with an amazing performance and goals by many. Notable performances on Blue include Kukelko’s impressive run up line drive goal and Ashley’s first goal (on her own team, but a goal she wants noted). A special shutout shoutout to Udoka jumping in as backup goalie, albeit covering only 4 minutes of time. On the other side, the Yolks were eager for the win scoring within the first 30 seconds of the game – Or at least that’s what I was told, because I blinked and missed it.

Game 4
The last game of the night was also a nail biter with the Pandas coming out strong and maintaining the lead throughout. The Sauvages (*try not to read the word sausages) fought hard to a 8-6 result but were unable to keep up with the Express speeds. Monsieur Dauriac might’ve had a grenouille in his throat when tasked as backup goalie early in the game. And while I watched great goals on either side, such as Dan “Double D” Desrosiers’ Salman-esque cross corner goal, the commotion upstairs was focused solely on watching the Sauvages close the differential to less than 3 thanks to the underground pool known affectionately as Twyla’s Takes (I just made that up. Let’s see if it sticks.). A lot of people’s bonus question were salvaged with the final green goal.

Thanks for tuning in this week soccer fans. Great efforts by everyone last night!

If you have any interest in contributing to the weekly write-ups, feel free to connect with your Captains or the Conveners.

Week #2: pregame report

Apr 17, 2019
 

Game 1:
Dream Team (Burgundy) is coming off a big win last week with a 4-goal win and a shutout to boot with their opponents this week as Spray Tanchester United (Orange). Despite their last opponents, Dream Team’s 2 yellowcards would presume they’re in fact the Goons. TanU pulled off a great tie-up result against a formidably hard-boiled team last week with 4 goals apiece. This week’s match up promises to be a highlights-heavy game deserving of the 5:10 spot it’s being played. Let’s just say that Dream Team need to Keep Dreaming if they believe they can pull off a game like last week. TanU official mascot Dan Nichols was available for comment, “Orange you glad we don’t have to read WordUp magazine?”

Game 2:
Second game of the night pits Can We Kick It (Pink) against Gandalf’s Goonies (Grey). Can We Kick It leapfrogged their opponents last game to a 5-3 result truly proving to the league that they Can. The better question this week is can they Repeat? Gandalf’s took an unfortunate beating losing 0-4 in what can only be called a Nightmare – This fellowship may need a bit of lineup tweaking and captains reinforcing “You Shall Not Pass” as a mental reminder amongst the team. Gandalf’s are sure to be coming out in full force, reawakened in metaphorical white garb.

Game 3:
Blue Steel (Blue… obviously) vs. Yolks On You (Yellow) in the 3rd event of the night. The Can’t-turn-left crew took a heavy hearted beating last week losing 5-0 leaving them expressionless. Meanwhile the Yolks were apparently on themselves after giving up the lead for a 4-4 tie game – I bet they’re rethinking the sunny side options this week. Coming off that non-win, I’m certain Yolks will be out of the gate aiming for a high-scoring win. It’s sure to be a zoo(lander) out there.

Game 4:
Last game showcases Panda Express (Black), coming off a bamboo-zling 5-0 win last week against the Grenouilles Sauvages (Green) who just couldn’t kick it last week with a 5-3 loss. The Pandas will be sure to show off their kung-fu kicks tonight aiming for another handful of goals while the Sauvages will be out there trying to grip it and ribbit. Just a bunch of animals!


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