The BossMan Cometh
Without doubt, the biggest story early in the season is the play of Hall of Famer and recent retiree Gerry Boss. The “BossMan” as he is affectionately known around the league, scored 4 goals in his first 2 games, and then followed that up with a hattrick against a bewildered Team Black. After 4 games, Gerry has an astounding 7 goals and has led Team Red to the top of the standings and the only undefeated team in the league. Commissioner Rick Wolfson has taken notice. Rick has been seen at recent Team Red games with an empty specimen jar in his pocket, always on the look out for PEDs.
Team Green Gets Their First Win of the Season
In week one, perennial GWLHL Czar and Green Team Co-Captain Reinhart “Putin” Waldner accidentally leaked his scouting report to the opposing team. This led to a 9-2 thrashing at the hands of Team Red. This is not where this story ended. Not happy with how this unfolded, Reinhart “mysteriously” made Team Green goalie Josh Rowson disappear the following week. Reinhart then checked his cell phone speed dial and called upon former #1 GWL goalie Alex Haas for the Friday night matchup with Team Black. Not only did Haas backstop Team Green to their first and only win of the season, Reinhart pumped in 3 goals himself. Overly pleased with himself, and still quite delirious after getting his hattrick, Reinhart was seen walking out of Canlan commenting to reporters, “If He dies, He dies”. No one is sure why he was quoting Drago from Rocky IV, but some believe it was the result of the Stolichnaya in his water bottle.